Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
