she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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