I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
