mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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