He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
