Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
