So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
