I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
