chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
