I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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