No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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