I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just high enough for therapy.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
