Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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