I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
