How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
