I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
