i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Be still, my beating vagina.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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