Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
