Kiss
Puke
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize