are you so shy because you have an std?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
