My room smells like vodka and shame
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Randomize
