I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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