So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
