discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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