How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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