Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
