i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
