ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
