He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dignity is for republicans.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
