it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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