3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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