On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
