No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize