are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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