there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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