yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
