Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
