I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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