Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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