ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize