if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
