the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i think my cat just said my name.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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