Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
