garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
