just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My penis needs a shock collar
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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