They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
