I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
