I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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