i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
your like the ambassador to my penis.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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