we have officially lost it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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