I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize