I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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