so explain again why im purple
no
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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