was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
