For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
