so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
