i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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