Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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