We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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