drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I love having hate sex.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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